The Thrill of Victory...the Agony of Defeat

To start off with I've never won a bike race unless you count moral victories or neighborhood races against my brothers.  My recent results have been bitter sweet moving me from a state of confident arrogance to wanting to chuck my bike in the lake. 

A few weeks ago I actually came in third in a local Cat 5 race.  I was both surprised and happy with my performance and knew that I could improve on that result over the summer.  I outsprinted a few hard core looking guys on my way to the finish line and spent every ounce of my energy to do it.  I went to bed that night finally able to understand how far you need to look down your nose to see the little people who didn't make it onto the podium.  They did their best but their best was obviously not good enough. 

Fast forward 7 days to the next race.  It rained earlier in the day so they combined the Cat 5's with the "late race" including Pro's and Cat 1's.  Based on my previous weeks performance I was excited, not concerned.  Big mistake.  I warmed up for 10 miles which in my current state of fitness was a decision I now look back on with regret.  10 miles into the 30 mile crit, I was gassed.  I hung with the peleton for a good 30 minutes and thought I felt fine.  I started slowing, gradually drifting toward the back of the pack.  I didn't realize it was happening at first until I was 15 feet behind the pack with momentum moving away from me.  My legs didn't respond and I was pulled from the track about 5 minutes later.  My wife walked me out of the park with the look on her face of a mother when her son's just told her he didn't make Varsity.  She felt bad because she knew I felt bad.  Within one week I went from the podium to a DNF.

I spent the next few days on a business trip holed up in a hotel room in Seattle watching Duck Dynasty and eating nachos.  After a grand total of 3 races I was considering hanging up my cleats.  When I got home I went out for a ride.  30 miles of course, just to prove to myself that I could go hard for the distance I failed to complete in my last race.  I then thought about something else.  When I got dropped there were only two Cat 5's left in the pack.  That was my silver lining.  The sun will keep rising and my wheels will keep spinning.  I'm in it for the fun and the fitness.  Given my age and fitness level I need to stay in the shallow end of the racing pool and give up professional cycling dreams.  My dreams are of the Cat 5 variety and as I recall it's still pretty far to look down my nose to see all the other Cat 5's who didn't make the podium.  ;-)  Race on.